I believe God respects who He made us to be. God did not create us all the same, therefore, each of our relationships with Him is unique. God is big, and He can roll like that. This means that my time with God might not look like yours, my worship might not look like yours and my prayers are my own too. This also means God deals with me differently than he deals with you, just like I deal with all my children differently with respect towards who they are.
God seems to teach me lessons one or two at a time. Maybe it because he understands that I can be pretty thick and pretty stubborn so He knows He has to make his point in several different ways. How great would it be to be they type of person God just had to whisper to and I could get the message, make the appropriate changes and live a better life because of it. Yeah, so not me. I am more the "keep poking until she pays attention" type of learner. Could be worse, I could be the "whap upside the head until they listen" kind.
One of the two lessons God is teaching me right now has to do with intentionality and being still. I am not good at that, and God seems to see this as an area that needs vast improvement. And while He has a valid point, I don't really want to learn. See, being still isn't fun. You don't really have anything to show for it when your done and it cramps my style. I like to multitask. I can answer e-mail and talk to my kid, unload the dishwasher and call a friend and watch tv and fold laundry.
While this all works in my life, I know it isn't his best for me. See God, in all his wisdom, doesn't really settle for " yeah, that's not too bad". While I can check e-mail and chat with my daughter, it means I am not very tuned in to her and she doesn't get my best. I want my children to know they are more important than my e-mail and my actions just were not showing that. My friend might not know that I am putting away spoon while she spills her heart, but it keeps me from being present in her plight and that isn't the kind of friend I want to be. Nothing is hurt by me watching television while folding laundry, but what would it hurt for me to just let my heart and mind be still while my hands were busy?
God has brought this to my attention through all types of things. Verses in the bible about "being still", articles in science about what multitasking really means to our brains, and even a very interesting piece written by a Buddhist about meditation. Talks with friends, sermons at church, lessons in bible study, all point me in one direction. BE STILL.
So 2011 is going to be about me learning to be still and be present. It isn't glamorous or productive, I don't really want to learn, but the knowledge of the area I have yet to grow weighs heavy on my heart. So I will stop and focus on one thing, one person at a time, intentionally giving them all my focus. I will learn to be still and listen. I will learn to quiet my heart and mind and give God my full attention, mediating on things bigger that my worldly needs and troubles. I will work to have a heart like his, a love like His, and I will be a better friend, better mother, better wife because of it.
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