I am not sure who is in your circle, who you hang with, and how much you might or might not know about them. Let me give you some insight into the life of a mother of four children 6 and under. Buckle in and put on a bib, it is bound to get messy.
I can pretty well guarantee any mother in your life, and certainly the mother of four, is lacking sleep. So when she says the baby did pretty well last night, it means he was only up 3 times. If she rolls her eyes at you when you gripe about an early meeting or night spent up late for a client dinner, it is only because she can't even remember the last time she slept, uninterrupted, for more than a few hours.
You might notice that said mother is often wearing cotton knit. This isn't because she is absolutely clueless of what is in fashion. It is because she doesn't give a rip, this was clean and comfortable and she didn't care if the baby puked on it. If you do happen to catch her in denim or dress shoes, please politely ignore the spit up stains, because, damn it, if I worked this hard to fit into a pair of jeans to leave the house you better bet your buttons I am wearing them all day, spit up or not!
If you run into this harried mother, please offer her a large cup of coffee and offer to hold the baby while she drinks it. I can pretty much bet she never gets a chance to drink hot coffee at home, despite the fact she desperately needs it and has rewarmed it 3 times. If you really care for this mother, offer her a muffin to go with the coffee. Her diet is most likely made up of things scavenged off of small peoples plates that have been left un-eaten.
If you see her out in public with all her children, smile. Comments about being a "walking circus" (thank you, dad) or "are they all yours" are not necessary. Despite how she appears, she is well aware of the madness she brings with her and is not crazy enough to collect more, random children, making you sound like a complete asshat for asking if they all belong to her. Of course they do.
Complementing a mother of 4, whos first 3 are female, on finally getting a boy can also come acrosed differently than you mean it too. We did not keep trying until we got it right, we would have been thrilled to pieces with another girl. Are we done? Can't say my sex life is any of your business, thanks, and we are trying to tempt God's sense of humor. Being shocked at how well behaved her children are can also be a bit insulting, as if I procreate but really being able to deal with my kids is such a shock!
And most of all, give the mother of four small children in your life a little grace. She is snarky because she is beat, she is rumpled and chubby because her life is slightly insane. Give her grace, she is doing her best, and if you wish to befriend this mama for life, pair that grace with a large glass of wine and some chocolate. Then offer to watch her kids so she can nap.