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Brain Vomit

Catchy title, no? Things on my mind, typed out so that they are on my blog, instead of bouncing around in my head.

- I like kids, no shocker there. I usually even like my own kids. I think we will have more. If we have at least one more and then adopt a couple, does that make our family freakishly large? Do I care if I have a freakishly large family? I say this and my baby doesn't even sleep through the night yet. I say "yet" because some day it is bound to happen...right?

-I am generally against waking a sleeping child for just about any reason. It is now almost 4:30 and Elie is still asleep. She has a cold. If she doesn't wake up soon, I will never be able to put her in bed by 7. She needs her sleep but I need the sanity or both kids in bed at a decent hour. What to do?

- I have no idea what to make for dinner tonight. Elie doesn't care and either does Addie. I want burgers or taco bell or something equally nutritionally devoid, but feel guilty feeding that crap to my children. If I cook, I have to clean it up. To clean up, I have to empty the dishwasher of clean dishes. I should also mop and vacuum, but that has nothing to do with food. Are black bean brownies a dinner item?

-I am sick of "stuff". The more I have, the more I have to clean/put away/keep track of. Yet I buy more. Is this because I am a brainwashed American consumer? Some days I day dream of my house burning to the ground. All the stuff is gone and I get a clean start. How is that for really not wanting to clean your house!

- Some days I dream of doing something significant. I know, motherhood is "the most important thing I could ever do" blah blah blah. Its not that I want to escape my life or that I crave the spot light, I just feel like my impact is that of a gnat on a windshield, unnoticed. God has put a few things on my heart and they feel scary and "un wise". Where to go from here?

- My eyes hurt. I blame my contacts and the dust at the living history farm.

- I don't want "church" but my heart longs for community. I won't church shop anymore, it is insulting to all involved. I want "meat" to grow on in a group of believers who want to do life together. I don't want a group who gets together for "bible study" and then goes there own way until they meet again next week. Whats the point of that?

Comments

stephaniejwood said…
Oh - I so like you! It's nice that you're my sister. Freakishly large families are cool! Or at least I delude myself into thinking that most days.
29 August, 2008 07:58
Anonymous said…
I think BB brownies are indeed a good dinner item.

I can't believe someone else secretly wants their house to burn down to get rid of all the CRAP. Without us in it of course.

You crack me up.
29 August, 2008 08:54
Sarah said…
I fully indent to shoot a "brain vomit" post right back at you. If nothing else it will show you that my brain is as scrambled as yours ;-) Look for it later today or tomorrow
02 September, 2008 09:18
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