Sunday, November 8, 2009

The Waiting Game

One of my least favorite parts of life is waiting. I have a very strong dislike for knowing my world is going to change but having to just wait for it to happen. Like before you move, or start a new job, or when expecting a baby, transition is hard for me. I dislike waiting for things or people who don't seem to feel my sense of urgency.

My Father in heaven gets a kick out of this, I believe. At least He seems very willing to give me chances to further develop this character trait. Really, it all comes down to the "p" word...patients.

For instance, I have been blessed with a 4 year old who has 1 speed. This is not a fast speed. She has no ability to "hurry up". Her 1 year old sister is significantly faster than she is at most things and will stand at the bottom of the stairs yelling "lets go!". Most of this is age and personality, not a bad behavior thing, she is obedient and has a good attitude about doing what I ask. Eliana will be sent up stairs to get dressed for the day, 45 minutes later I come up and she is naked and reading a book. She isn't being bad, she just forgot what it was she was supposed to be doing half way through the task. I send her up to get shoes on and 5 minutes later she is standing there, bare foot, telling me about a dream she had. Her head is in the clouds, she likes to take her time, she is a dreamer and pretender. I am so glad I don't have to fight to get her out of the house several days a week for school. Yet.

Baby 3 is apparently in no hurry, either. I have everything ready, the car seat is in the car, people are on call to watch the big kids. Baby hasn't budged. I am working on my attitude about this. This is my last pregnancy, most likely. I will never again get to lay in bed and feel the little hick-ups, the big lumps that may be a foot or knee. I will never again have the excuse that the baby is the one who wants the milkshake/extra fries/Mexican food. I want this kid to be fully cooked and ready for her appearance earth-side.

When it comes right down to it, patients is really about "dieing to self" and choosing to put others first. I want Eliana to have the right to live her life at her pace, even if I find that pace highly annoying. I want this baby to have the right to stay where she feels warm and safe, knowing God has planned her birthday long before he planned the pillars of the earth. Really, it is just further proof that life isn't really about me and what makes me comfortable.


McHam Family said...

Oh honey. I understand!!! I hope you get to meet her SOON!!!!

song said...

Doesn't she know we are all eagerly awaiting her arrival? Sending baby love your way!