Skip to main content

Thinking

I am a compulsive "over thinker". I am an information junky. These things go hand in hand. When faced with a problem, my first resource is information which is gathered like a rabid squirrel hording nuts facing a nuclear winter. And then I think. I chew over information, mull it over and over again until...well, until it usually ends up in some form or another on my blog.

My dad is quirky, and I mean that in a good way. Even though he is currently sporting uni-bomber hair, he is one of the smartest men I have ever met. Back when he was a grown up (I am saying that because I not sure what he is now, retired maybe?) he was a consultant, which basically means he was paid obscene amounts of money for telling people what they were doing wrong and how to do it better. And to think, I was given all that information for free for year while I was growing up and had no appreciation for it! My dad likes thinks like "mission statements" and "actionable goals" to the point he actually has a mission statement for his life. I think that is endlessly cool. To have something to measure every decision against would simplify things immensely.

I feel kind of like the last 5 years of my life I have been living in "survival mode". I have cranked out 3 babies and kept them all alive while running a home, often by myself. The thing about survival mode is I find it deeply unsatisfying. I hate the feeling of barley keeping my head above water, flaking out because I failed to take time to plan and ending the day with the feeling that life happened to me and I didn't actually spend time doing the things that I say matter most to me.

As baby turned a year old, my life has started to settle. I get a little more sleep. Matt was home for more than one week. I have started to do what I do, which is think. And when I am thinking I am gathering information. Here, in no particular order, is what I am working on:

-I want a mission statement for my life. Not because I want a neatly organized sheet of paper (although that does appeal to me on some level) but because it forces clarity when it comes to what I believe is important and can serve as a guide for making decisions.

-Stuff. I have a problem with too much. Actually, I am a product of a culture who has a HUGE problem with stuff and I some how got sucked in. People matter, stuff doesn't. If it doesn't add to my life, it takes away from it and should be given away to bless someone else.

- Emotional stuff. Stuff we hold on to isn't all physical, I need to figure out what emotional dust bunnies are collecting in my closet

-Body stuff. How am I treating my physical body and is it honoring to Him who made it?

- Spiritual stuff. Growth. Service. Love.

As we end 2010 I have decided I want 2011 to look different. Intentional. I am not sure what steps I need to take to get there, but here is the first.

Comments

Kari Marie said…
I completely understand survival vs intentional life.

I love the notes you made at the bottom and support all those "goals"!!
Jennifer McHam said…
I already have my New Year's resolution worked out for 2011. Be more present. Work less, enjoy more. I have a real problem with overanalyzing, trying to control every single situation and moment. That's not what I want though. So there you have it, before anybody else does :)
Anonymous said…
me too, me too! let's talk about this next time we get together

Popular posts from this blog

Working on my Domestic Goddess Badge

I looked at the to-do list I made last week and am happy to say I can cross off almost everything on it. It only took me 2 weeks. I think I either need smaller lists or more time. Here is what I have been up to: -I have made 2 loaves of banana oat bread, 1 batch of blackberry strawberry freezer jam, 1 loaf of gluten free bread. -From 12 juiced grapefruit I made grapefruit curd and a pan of grapefruit bars. -My garden is almost completely done, including a upgrade in size. I am growing tomatoes, onions, peppers, potatoes , cabbage, broccoli, cauliflower , herbs, lettuce, spinach , green beans, snap peas, cucumbers, and kohlrabi. -I hung herbs to dry -I have folded massive amounts of laundry...with more yet to do. All washed with my homemade laundry soap. -I recovered the "green monster" which is another post entirely. -I added a sitting area in my bedroom, where I am currently sitting, so that my laptop has a home other than the kitchen table. - I got a new dining room table a

Birth Story of Jamison Drake Crocker

Not everyone likes to hear how a baby made his way into the world. If you are one of those who just wants to know that baby has arrived and everyone is doing great, then read no further than this paragraph. Jamison Drake Crocker was born at 10:45 on Friday morning, May 18th. He is a big, healthy boy weighing 9lbs and 2oz and is 21.5 inches long. Mama and baby are doing great, sisters are in love and papa is proud. If you are still reading, consider yourself warned. Birth can be messy, and while I have every intention of keeping this non-stomach churning, not all stomachs are made of the same stuff. On Thursday night, Matt had to be in the city for a press event. Around 10:00 I texted and asked him for an ETA and he said he would be home around midnight. I took my very round self and went to bed. I slept fitfully, big and uncomfortable and being woken up by contractions every so often kept me from falling into a deep sleep. At 3:00 am I got up only to find Matt wasn't home. I

A little help

We have two really cute costumes for Addilyn . Which one should she wear for Halloween ? Let me know because Matt and I can't decide. A Bumble Bee A skunk