Monday, April 30, 2012
The waiting game
This is the hardest part of pregnancy for me. Not only does everyone feel the need to look at me and comment, as if that is productive, helpful or welcome, but I feel like a bug under glass. Yes. I am round. Yes. I am due soon. I have to fight my smart mouth on a daily basis any way, but when people start making dumb comments about "haven't you had that kid yet" I really have to bite my tongue. No, I haven't had this baby yet, I have decided I don't want to, I would rather be the first woman in history to stay pregnant FOREVER.
This stage is also hard because I don't handle the "in between" very well. I am getting better. God is bound and determined to keep presenting me with situations until I learn to be happy in the now instead of always waiting for what is ahead or wondering what in the past I should have done differently.
So I work to find peace. I still feel good, no closer to having this kid than I did yesterday or a month ago. I cherish being able to read a story to my girls without interruption, make a meal with two hands. I sleep well. I am still getting around just fine, though I may waddle more than usual. I embrace today, the sunshine and sweet kisses, the big mighty kicks in the belly. I will be happy, at peace, in the here and now.