Friday, April 10, 2009


Facebook is a strange phenomenon. It is a world in and of itself, where people you knew years ago, and haven't thought of since, drift in and out of your range of view.I now know what some of my former high school classmates at for lunch today. I have "friends" on there that were never really friends in my life, just people who paths I crossed. I have found some people I really enjoy and some long lost acquaintances. It is novel and kills obscene amounts of time.

Recently I stumbled across a picture of someone who I used to be pretty good friends with. It was late and I was getting ready for bed after a long day, but I am pretty sure I put in a "friend request" with her. Several days later I hadn't really heard anything so I went back and checked. Either my request had been denied or I hadn't actually hit "friend request" so I typed up a little note and requested her as a friend, again. I have now been denied twice. Weird.

Today bible study talked about wisdom with words and the power we have with them. Wars start with words, marriages are ended, children are destroyed. Words can wound. Beth Moore discussed a healing exercise if you had wounds left from words spoken to you. I tried to think of words I was wounded by...and couldn't really come up with any.

Grudges are funny things. They really only hurt the one who is holding on to them. I don't hold grudges, this is not because I am so wise that I have made a choice to rise above. It is because my memory sucks. Ask anyone who has known me for a while and they can attest to it. I am also lazy and to remember a hurt and take the energy to be mad about it is more than I care to invest.

All this brings me back to my Facebook rejection. I assume this chic is mad at me about something, I must have wounded or offended her. I can honestly say I have no idea what I have done, this goes back to the whole "memory sucks" thing. I'm not hurt by this obvious snub, just kinda curious. To be hurt by this would mean this girl has some power in my life, which she doesn't.

Matt said I should take the angle that she is just envious of my life. Maybe she is a humiliated lesbian, a drug addict, a CIA agent staying incognito. He does make a good point, I don't know the whole story and it does me no good to waste time guessing. When all is said and done, this doesn't really matter and I won't be loosing any sleep over it. It does make me a little nosey so if anyone wants to cut and paste her profile information for me...


Kari said...

Good response Gretch...I'm proud of you for remembering those awesome things and knowing that hurt and grudges only affect one person (you).

And I doubt you're missing out on much since your life is full of friends who always "accept" you.

McHam Family said...

Mark said Facebook makes me turn into a hormone crazy, anxiety ridden teenager. He's so right. People find me that I haven't thought about or worried about since high school but now all of a sudden I can't check my FB account before bed because questions will keep me up at night. I mentioned to a friend of mine that I was worried about admittedly stupid stuff but it includes things like "What do they think of me now? Does my life look fulfilling enough? Do I look ok? Do I have clever enough updates and cute enough pictures? Enough information but not too much?" His response was very real: Who cares? Plus, if someone looks at your page, they see you are a stay at home mom to 2 beautiful children with one on the way, you are happily married to a wonderful man and you live in a beautiful, wonderful place. Life is good. But for some reason, when the popular kid from 8th grade checks my account, why do all my insecurities come back?? Aaaah. Facebook. Can't live with it....... Can't live without it?? Friends always accept you, no matter what. I'm glad you're my friend TODAY! (because really, isn't that all that matters???)