Matt arranged a partnership between Samsung PC's and a well known fashion designer. Samsung will be on the "catwalk" at fashion week in New York. He has tickets. VIP tickets backstage. To fashion week and this designers show. And I am invited.
My first thought? What will I wear? And all my ideals seem to blow away in the breeze that is pop culture. Things I don't care about, fashion, what is "hot", who the coolest people are, are now on my mind. I try to be mindful about spending my money and energy on what really matters to me, and I can say that none of these have made the list. Not that those are bad things or wrong to care about, it just isn't me. And yet I laid awake last night thinking of what I was going to wear, worrying about weather or not I would stick out like a pregnant, poorly dressed sore thumb among all these people who in all actuality I don't give a rip about and I will never see again.
And there is the rub. When all my ideals are face with the reality of the world and culture I live in, what will reign victorious? Am I confident enough in my choice to be nonconformist to live out loud when others might notice? Will I choose to be content with what I have in the midst of others reveling in excess? Will I be proud of the choices I have made in my life, to be a stay at home mom and not a professional, enough that I carry myself with pride befitting my choice? Do I actually value people more than things?
So I face my closet, my shoe rack, my stack of bags to deal with my first world problem of "what to wear". I will do the best with what I have, both body and wardrobe. I will enjoy the wearable art that I see in fashion week. I will be proud of the work my husband has done. I will see all the areas in my life where my heart desired ideals and my actually life are not in compliance.