Matt and I celebrated our 10th anniversary this weekend. In some ways it seems like more, like he has just always been a part of my life. In a way, he has, my adult life anyway. I guess that is what happens when you get married so young.
We were discussing how we have changed and grown over the last 10 years, and the changes in both of us are massive. We also discussed what we used to think marriage was and what we now believe it to be. Here is one thing we have decided everyone who is to get married needs to know:
The Stupid Clause: At some point in your marriage, one of you will do something vastly stupid. The price will be high and it will be paid by everyone who is in your family at that point. It won't be fair, it won't be your fault and everyone will suffer the stupidity of one person.
That is what marriage is about. Yes, sometimes it is sunshine and roses and happy feelings. Often it is just hard work. Sometimes your spouse is a glorified room mate that you would kick to the curb if you were not married to them. You don't always like the person your married to and there will be no one else on earth (except maybe your children) who will be able to get under your skin like they can. You will get an up close and personal view of someone elses character flaws and if your willing, a great view of your own. It won't be about you. You will have to compromise when your right and they are not. Your dreams will sometimes take a back seat to theres. It is NEVER a 50/50 division of labor, someone is always pulling more than there own weight.
I know this is a terrible sales job for marriage. I hate to think I sound bitter, because I am not. I don't regret for one single second choosing Matt as my spouse. I love my life and the great things about marriage. I love that I have someone to talk to about my day, who actually cares. I love the excessive amount of laughter that comes with being married. I love that it isn't all about me. I love the family we are creating together, watching Matt love on our girls and come into his own as a man and a father. I love that I sleep next to my best friend (at least I do when he is home!) I love that when I am beat down, I have an advocate and someone else who is willing to put the kids to bed.
Everything in life cost you something and marriage is no different. I think we often do young couples a great disservice by not letting them know what they are in for. Sometimes the price is high, but the reward is great.
We were discussing how we have changed and grown over the last 10 years, and the changes in both of us are massive. We also discussed what we used to think marriage was and what we now believe it to be. Here is one thing we have decided everyone who is to get married needs to know:
The Stupid Clause: At some point in your marriage, one of you will do something vastly stupid. The price will be high and it will be paid by everyone who is in your family at that point. It won't be fair, it won't be your fault and everyone will suffer the stupidity of one person.
That is what marriage is about. Yes, sometimes it is sunshine and roses and happy feelings. Often it is just hard work. Sometimes your spouse is a glorified room mate that you would kick to the curb if you were not married to them. You don't always like the person your married to and there will be no one else on earth (except maybe your children) who will be able to get under your skin like they can. You will get an up close and personal view of someone elses character flaws and if your willing, a great view of your own. It won't be about you. You will have to compromise when your right and they are not. Your dreams will sometimes take a back seat to theres. It is NEVER a 50/50 division of labor, someone is always pulling more than there own weight.
I know this is a terrible sales job for marriage. I hate to think I sound bitter, because I am not. I don't regret for one single second choosing Matt as my spouse. I love my life and the great things about marriage. I love that I have someone to talk to about my day, who actually cares. I love the excessive amount of laughter that comes with being married. I love that it isn't all about me. I love the family we are creating together, watching Matt love on our girls and come into his own as a man and a father. I love that I sleep next to my best friend (at least I do when he is home!) I love that when I am beat down, I have an advocate and someone else who is willing to put the kids to bed.
Everything in life cost you something and marriage is no different. I think we often do young couples a great disservice by not letting them know what they are in for. Sometimes the price is high, but the reward is great.
Comments
And I love your post, as always. I feel like someone should tell people the same thing about having kids. Having kids is not all roses. In fact, it's DA*N hard work. You get some roses too, but there is a lot of hard work.