Productivity

Some days I define myself and what I do by what I achieve. I know this isn't right, a person has value long before they are capable of "achieving" anything, and yet I get sucked into this mind trap often. Being so defined is disheatening because how do you measure when you have done enough to be worthy?

Baby is sick today. Actually, she has been sick for the last few days, not sleeping well at night and earning the nic-name "Baby Snort". Nothing warenting a trip to the doctors, only a cold, complete with boogery nose and wattery eyes. She is miserable, wanting only to nurse to sooth her sore throat and snuggle with her mama.

I have a to-do list as long as my arm, which really isn't anything new. With a newly fallen foot of snow, I envisioned a productively home bound day. It just isn't in the cards. Instead, after putting the big girls down for a nap, I wraped the baby in a warm blanket and cuddled with her in our bed. She sighed, pleased to be the center of my universe if only for an hour, and fell asleep.

Today, I will not calculate my self worth by items checked off my to-do list or the state of my living room. Today, I will know I made the right choice to put people above things, to spend time investing in a life instead of caring for stuff. Today, I will define my self by what I do for others, not what I get done. Today, I am The Mommy, when only The Mommy will do, who wipes runny noses, kisses chapped cheeks and snuggles sad babies. For tomorrow, I make no promises.