Thursday, March 3, 2011

Mrs. Fix it

The older I get (all of my 30 years) the more I learn about myself. Some things are good, unfortunately, the ones I most need to learn and most often learn are...something less than good.

Today I was reading a friends blog (Hi Shi!) about a young teen whos life is very hard. Pregnant, crappy home life, now dropping out of school with a young toddler. My first thought? We should invite her to live with us! She can go to school, I can help her, and the baby can stay with us while she is in class! Ok, I have never met this girl. We have 5 people in a small 3 bed room house. I doubt she is interested in living with a complete stranger. But I can't help it.

Hi, my name is Gretchen and I am a fixer. Need someone to listen to your problems? Ha! Not only can I listen, but I will give you a laundry list of ideas of how to FIX those problems. Matt says I am totally unsympathetic when he is sick. Not so! I bring him tea, give him ideas of how to feel better, go to the store for drugs that might help.

Being a "fixer" happens not to be a very helpful character quality. When I offer all kinds of ideas of how to fix something I end up coming off as a "know it all" or someone who thinks I am always right. It doesn't help that I am a complete information junky. When a broken hearted friend spills their heart to me and I go off on how to feel better, I come off as insensitive and not listening. When Matt is sick and I try to fix him, he feel like I am impatient when all he wants is a little sympathy and a long nap.

God, help me shut my big mouth. Help me serve without unwanted commentary. Help me speak truth in LOVE when the time is right, not just when I feel the need to fix people. Help me have a deep understanding of all the fixing that needs to be done in my own life, keep me humble. God let me be your hands with an understanding that you alone are the real "fixer".

1 comment:

Rosfeld Family said...

I too, am a fixer. I am learning to be "fixed" and not always do the fixing in my friendships, but it's not an easy process. We should start a 12 step program for fixers. :) We could call our meetings mixers for fixers. Ha!
I'm so glad to know that I'm not the only one who struggles with it though.