How to: Eat a meal like a 9 month old

Step 1: Sit in your chair and scream indignantly until food is brought directly too you

Step 2: Examine everything offered with a critical eye

Step 3: Poke it

Step 4: Lick finger and decide on first course

Step 5: Eat all the fruit and carbs and throw the veggies on the floor for the dog. Take a bite of meat, shudder, gag and decide to eat it anyway

Step 6: Squeeze everything that is left on you plate in your fist and watch in amazement as it oozes between fingers.

Step 7: Lick hand, get mouth full of food and sneeze. Giggle

Step 8: Smack slimy hand on table, enjoy the noise and the splatter

Step 9: Rub whatever remains in your hair

Step 10: Holler and sign "all done" frantically until someone releases you from the confines of your chair. Fight every attempt to get you clean.