It is strange to me that when my brain is very full my blog is very empty. I like to write but when my head is stuffed I sometimes have a hard time getting it all out. Brain constipation. Here is what is bouncing around in my head right now:
-Tomorrow is Annabelles visit to Childrens. I am trying not to over think it or dread what is coming, it won't do any good. I know they will do blood work, which won't be fun. I also know that in cases like hers they sometimes worry about neglect. I hate the thought of anyone thinking that this baby who is so dear to my heart just may not be getting the love she needs to thrive.
- Motherhood is an odd thing. You don't get a report card or pay check so it is easy to judge how your doing by other things i.e the way your home looks or weather or not your children are thriving. Right now I think I would be fired and get a flunking grade. I know something are beyond my control but I take the fact Belle is tiny as a sign of personal failure. Somewhere in my head I know that isn't the case.
- Attitude is so much of life. Currently I am struggling with mine. Sometime I just don't feel like doing the right thing. The bible is pretty clear that the way we behave towards someone is not dependent on the way the act towards us. We are to live to a higher standard, Jesus. Love is the requirement, forgiveness is expected. My attitude is my choice, not to be dependent on someone elses behavior.
- Know what happens when you leave 3 children and a pack of diapers while you go outside to hang laundry? First, the baby empties the entire package. Then the two big girls bring in stuffed animal to diaper. Lots of them. Currently there are several bears and a puppy sporting pampers.
-How often do you change your sheets? How about your kids sheets? I hate this job and put it off until we approach nasty.
-I have a crock pot full of fire roasted green chili sauce. My eggs, Mexican food, beans, tortillas and anything else that holds still long enough is going to be that much better!
I will create a real post soon. Sorry for the brain dump.