Skip to main content

Love and the art of Relationship Matainence

"Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results"

After a morning conversation was interrupted by each of our children repeatedly, I looked at Matt and said "This isn't working for me". I wasn't just referring to our conversation, I was referring to the way we were doing life.

Knowing the importance of keeping communication honest and open, and frankly, not being good at beating around the bush, I sat down and rattled off a list of grievances. I was sick of the single mom gig, I wanted more time and more attention and I was inches away from losing my mind. My solution was Matt finds a new job. Now.

I didn't get my way but we did come up with a plan. We added Matt to the gym membership. We can now go to the gym, drop off the offspring and work out together. I'm not talking treadmill here, or the elliptical (which, sadly enough, I am much too uncoordinated to do) but fun exercise followed by time in the hot tub or spa. We also decided to swap childcare with my sister a couple times a month so we get to go our sans-kids. Now maybe we will be able to complete a sentence or even a thought without having to stop and wipe a butt or shush a baby.

Marriage is a lot of work, more than I ever thought. It requires sacrifice and honesty and occasionally a husband with thick skin. It requires creativity and resilience and most of all a commitment to keep pluggin' even when things suck, knowing that given prayer and a little time together, things will get better.

Comments

Jennifer McHam said…
Oh friend. I love you. I love your honesty and your grit and your tenacity. I love knowing I'm not alone in my complex and often inconvenient emotions and I love that you're brave enough to blog about it. I love your idea of working out with Matt and then hitting the hot tub. Maybe this summer Pierce won't have a coronary every time I put him in the daycare there and Mark and I can do that ;) !! What a great idea. Hugs hugs hugs. Jen

Popular posts from this blog

Working on my Domestic Goddess Badge

I looked at the to-do list I made last week and am happy to say I can cross off almost everything on it. It only took me 2 weeks. I think I either need smaller lists or more time. Here is what I have been up to: -I have made 2 loaves of banana oat bread, 1 batch of blackberry strawberry freezer jam, 1 loaf of gluten free bread. -From 12 juiced grapefruit I made grapefruit curd and a pan of grapefruit bars. -My garden is almost completely done, including a upgrade in size. I am growing tomatoes, onions, peppers, potatoes , cabbage, broccoli, cauliflower , herbs, lettuce, spinach , green beans, snap peas, cucumbers, and kohlrabi. -I hung herbs to dry -I have folded massive amounts of laundry...with more yet to do. All washed with my homemade laundry soap. -I recovered the "green monster" which is another post entirely. -I added a sitting area in my bedroom, where I am currently sitting, so that my laptop has a home other than the kitchen table. - I got a new dining room table a

Birth Story of Jamison Drake Crocker

Not everyone likes to hear how a baby made his way into the world. If you are one of those who just wants to know that baby has arrived and everyone is doing great, then read no further than this paragraph. Jamison Drake Crocker was born at 10:45 on Friday morning, May 18th. He is a big, healthy boy weighing 9lbs and 2oz and is 21.5 inches long. Mama and baby are doing great, sisters are in love and papa is proud. If you are still reading, consider yourself warned. Birth can be messy, and while I have every intention of keeping this non-stomach churning, not all stomachs are made of the same stuff. On Thursday night, Matt had to be in the city for a press event. Around 10:00 I texted and asked him for an ETA and he said he would be home around midnight. I took my very round self and went to bed. I slept fitfully, big and uncomfortable and being woken up by contractions every so often kept me from falling into a deep sleep. At 3:00 am I got up only to find Matt wasn't home. I

A little help

We have two really cute costumes for Addilyn . Which one should she wear for Halloween ? Let me know because Matt and I can't decide. A Bumble Bee A skunk