Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Love and the art of Relationship Matainence

"Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results"

After a morning conversation was interrupted by each of our children repeatedly, I looked at Matt and said "This isn't working for me". I wasn't just referring to our conversation, I was referring to the way we were doing life.

Knowing the importance of keeping communication honest and open, and frankly, not being good at beating around the bush, I sat down and rattled off a list of grievances. I was sick of the single mom gig, I wanted more time and more attention and I was inches away from losing my mind. My solution was Matt finds a new job. Now.

I didn't get my way but we did come up with a plan. We added Matt to the gym membership. We can now go to the gym, drop off the offspring and work out together. I'm not talking treadmill here, or the elliptical (which, sadly enough, I am much too uncoordinated to do) but fun exercise followed by time in the hot tub or spa. We also decided to swap childcare with my sister a couple times a month so we get to go our sans-kids. Now maybe we will be able to complete a sentence or even a thought without having to stop and wipe a butt or shush a baby.

Marriage is a lot of work, more than I ever thought. It requires sacrifice and honesty and occasionally a husband with thick skin. It requires creativity and resilience and most of all a commitment to keep pluggin' even when things suck, knowing that given prayer and a little time together, things will get better.

1 comment:

McHam Family said...

Oh friend. I love you. I love your honesty and your grit and your tenacity. I love knowing I'm not alone in my complex and often inconvenient emotions and I love that you're brave enough to blog about it. I love your idea of working out with Matt and then hitting the hot tub. Maybe this summer Pierce won't have a coronary every time I put him in the daycare there and Mark and I can do that ;) !! What a great idea. Hugs hugs hugs. Jen