Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Strength based parenting

Currently on my floor: empty wipes container, one white sock, old play cell phone, cup lid, nursing pad (clean), paper, something sticky, 3 books, 2 pair of shoes... and that is just what I can see from my chair at the table. I say this to prove a point that doesn't really need to be proven to anyone who has ever walked through my front door; I am a terrible house keeper.

I have books on my shelves titled "How Not to be a Messy" and "Easy Organization" and yes, I have read them. They didn't seem to help. I have made improvement over the past 10 years, you should have seen our first apartment, and that was WITHOUT kids.

My current revelation is this; I should spend more time on my strengths and less time on my weaknesses. This might seem counter intuitive. After all, i have the most progress to make on the areas I am weakest in. After 10 years of trying and not much headway made, I decided there is a better way.

There are only so many hours in a day, things I am bad at take twice as long and I accomplish half as much (see the laundry pile for proof). This is not permission to never scrub another toilet, but it is permission to do it "good enough" and let it go. My house will never be spotless and I refuse to judge my self worth by the things I am least good at.

I am a good mom and I enjoy doing mom things. I like to play games with my kids, to color, to create. I like to organize things, just not clean them. I am social and like to have people over. I like to cook. I can do all of these things, they are GOOD things to do. God gave me a skill set and i should focus on using it instead of lamenting all the skills that seemed to skip me.

If I invite you over, don't look too closely at how clean my bathroom is or if my kitchen sink has dishes on it, I can tell you now that the floors probably will need to be swept and there will be unfolded laundry on the bed. Feel free to judge and feel superior, if you need to. I will be playing with my kids and serving a fabulous gluten free coffee cake, toilet be damned.


Honeycutt Family said...

You go girl!!!! :)

McHam Family said...

Preach on sister!

Denise said...

I have this memorized from my olden days with the boys-

Excuse This House
Some houses try to hide the fact
That children shelter there.
Ours boasts of it quite openly,
The signs are every where.

For smears are on the windows,
Little smudges on the doors;
I should apologize I guess
For toys strewn on the floor.

But I sat down with the children
And we played and laughed and read,
And if the doorbell doesn't shine,
Their eyes will shine instead.

For when at times I'm forced to
Choose the one job or the other,
I want to be a housewife...
But first I'll be a mother.

It graced our front door for many years. Love you....your mom in law.