I made it to church today, the second week in a row, with all 3 girls. Why is this news worthy? Because Matt is gone. I am manning this vessel single handedly. Most of the time it is smooth sailing, but I am ready for the relief crew.
I often hear from friends "wow, I don't know how you do it"! Some days I don't have a clue how we make it, but we do. It isn't really like I have a choice, I have yet to find the address to send in my resignation letter. I never wanted to be a single parent, and yet for many days a month, I am just that.
At what point do you say "Honey, you know that job, the one that pays all our bills and that your really good at and absolutely LOVE? Yeah, its just not working for me." Matt has been traveling the last 5 years of our marriage. It is getting old, very old. I don't know what to say when Addilyn is laying on the floor, sobbing because she wants her daddy. I want him too.
Matt really has no clue what my life looks like, and to be fair, I don't have a clue what his looks like either. We live in very different worlds when he travels. I am trying to keep everyone in clean clothes, fed several times a day and wondering when I can sneak in a shower. He is working long days, eating at yummy places while trying to network with the right people and coming back to a spotless room with a bed that isn't his.
I signed up for the life of motherhood. I chose to not pursue my career but to raise my family. I knew it wasn't the easy choice I just didn't think I would be doing it alone so often.